3 Reasons Women Say No to Intimacy After Pregnancy
3 Reasons Women Say No to Intimacy After Pregnancy! Whether you are the mother that has just given birth or the father of the newborn child, you may have your own thoughts about when to become intimate with your spouse after giving birth. Besides being fatigued or not seemingly having time, with caring for a newborn..here are 3 things that you need to know after a child is born that make women say NO to intimacy.
1-Body image/consciousness – the average weight gain of an expectant mother is 25-35 pounds and many women gain far above the average, anywhere upwards between 50-60 lbs during pregnancy. After pregnancy, the weight loss timer starts ticking and it is so easy for us to feel self-conscious of our bodies and body image. Being the case, we don’t want anyone even our spouses to see us naked! Not just yet…so this can definitely affect intimacy.
2-Recovery/healing body – a human being literally just popped out of another human being. After birth, our body needs time to heal. And yes, medically women are given 6 weeks to “recover” and even longer for a Cesarian birth but honestly, it may take longer and spouses should be aware of that and should support the time that their spouse needs to recover.
3-Lack of connection – this may be the case as the focus has been so much on the arrival of the new addition that your relationship with your spouse seems to not be as close. Additionally, adjustment to life after birth does not afford quality alone time with your spouse so you may find yourself feeling less connected with them.
Keeping in mind that communication between spouses is key to work through any relational issues as each person should be able to express their thoughts and feelings on the subject. Knowing these things listed above will help with understanding what your spouse may be feeling and help you make an allowance for them during this time. You may also want to explore different ways to be intimate with your spouse during this time.
What’s your thoughts on this topic?
Loved this! I don’t have any kids of my own so this was super insightful. My sister has three kids though and I know I’ve heard her say plenty of times she didn’t feel as confident after the childbirth weight gain, especially since she got a lot of stomach stretch marks after her second child.
Thanks so much Jessica and thanks for visiting! I’m so glad that you found it insightful…I wanted it to be just that for those who are expecting or ladies who may be in the future. It’s so good just to be informed and not get caught off side ways…!
Yes, to all three of these but most definitely number two. I like how you make it clear that 6 weeks is just the standard but some people may need more time. With my first pregnancy I was still in a lot of pain well after the six weeks so I needed more time.
Once I was comfortable, I definitely felt like there wasn’t any time. I’m a little nervous about how things will be this go round with not just a new baby but a young child to tend too as well. I know we’ll be fine once we find our new normal but I can see the first couple of months being a challenge as we all get adjusted. I’ll definitely be exploring different ways to be intimate during that time!
I know you’ll be fine too especially once you find your new normal. I love writing posts like these…it’s a kind of “wish I had known then’ before I started having babies. I know it will help others that may stumble upon it. Thanks for stopping by and thanks for sharing too!
This post def made me think of how life would be post pregnancy. I don’t have children right now, but I can only imagine what women and men go through upon the arrival of their newborn. Whenever a child is born, I always asks parents how are they doing to make sure I’m sensitive to them and not paying attention solely to their new bundle. I’ve never even thought about the intimate side of the relationship. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Shea for stopping in to chat! I love people like you :), those that ask how the parents are…it’s quite rare actually. So it’s great having friends and family that will check in on the new parents!
Though I haven’t been blessed to be a mother yet, this post makes perfect sense to me. I’ve watched my sister have 2 kids (literally, I was in the delivery room) so I can understand how all the preparation for the kids and the aftermath of their arrival can slightly strain a relationship. Lucky for her, Hubs and I and my mom are more than happy to take them from her so she can get some rest.
Thanks for stopping by DeAndrea! It is SO awesome to have support from friends and loved ones during that time so that Moms and dads can get a break!
It seems like communication is the key to a lot of things when dealing with relationships! I’m not married nor do I have children yet, but it seems that the more transparent with your partner you are…the easier it can become to work through things. You would hope that both parties would understand that a life changing event has happened and it’s going to take some time to get adjusted, but you also don’t want to but it so far on the back burner because physical intimacy is important too. This definitely raises some good points and things to consider when that time comes!
Yes, you are absolutely right, communication is definitely key in everything really when dealing with relationships. And yes both people should be on the same page but the communication piece makes it clear what each person’s expectation is.