Everyone Grieves Differently: How to Care for a Griever's Individual Needs

Grief is a deeply personal experience, a journey that we are most often thrown into in the wake of loss. Each individual’s path through grief is as unique as the person themselves, shaped by their experiences, relationships, cultural influence, family background and emotions. In this episode of the Can You Just Sit With Me? podcast, host Natasha Smith and author Theo Boyd sit with the intricacies of grief, shedding light on the profound truth that everyone grieves differently.

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Natasha and Theo’s conversation centers on the challenges of the depth of grief. From the sudden demise of loved ones to the silent battles fought in the aftermath. Theo recounts the tragic accident that led to her mother’s death, followed by her father’s subsequent death. She highlights the profound need for presence rather than words during such times. “Just sitting and being present with somebody is the most valuable thing you can do for a freshly grieving person,” says Theo. Pushing against the conventional responses to grief that often lean towards platitudes or avoidance.

Natasha echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the communal aspect of grief and the importance of allowing one’s self to feel fully. Theo’s approach, inspired by her experiences and her role as a creative writing teacher, underscores the therapeutic effect of writing. She advocates for writing as a form of emotional release, an avenue to process the grief that too often remains unspoken.

Theo’s book title Your Grief Is Not Like Mine is an invitation to acknowledge that your grief is unique. And permission to grieve in your own way. So when we consider how grief differs from person to person, let’s take a look at these 4 ways to care for a griever’s individual needs.

4 Ways to Care for a Griever’s Individual Needs

1. Listen Actively. Be present and listen attentively to the griever’s thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Allow them to express themselves without judgment or interruption.

2. Validate Their Feelings. Acknowledge the griever’s emotions and validate their experience. Let them know that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that their feelings are valid.

3. Offer Practical Support. Help with daily tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, or running errands, to alleviate some of the burdens they may be facing during this difficult time.

4. Be Patient and Understanding. Understand that grief is a complex and ongoing process that takes time. Be patient with the griever and offer your support consistently, even as they navigate the ups and downs of their grief journey.

Each individual’s grief journey is uniquely their own. By recognizing and honoring the uniqueness of each person’s grief, we can offer empathy, understanding, and support to those who are navigating the profound landscape of loss. Through writing, as Theo Boyd reminds us, we can find peace, connection, and healing amidst the depths of grief. As we embrace the diversity of grief experiences, may we also find common ground in our shared experiences and capacity for compassion.