Grief. Everyone will grieve over something or someone at some point in their life. Grief is the universal language of us all. Part of our humanity. Yet, for Black women, the way grief is felt and processed often comes with unique layers. When we hear about grief, it’s often in the sense of losing loved ones, enduring heartbreak, loss of a dream, relationship, etc. But when it comes to Black women, does grief look the same? Is it experienced differently? And perhaps more importantly, is there space in society for Black women to fully grieve without the weight of external expectations? How do we define Black Woman Grief? Is this a thing? The answer is yes.
So, Is “Black Woman Grief” Really a Thing?
Yes, it absolutely is. Black woman grief is real, and it’s complex. It’s layered with personal loss, historical trauma, and societal expectations that often make it difficult to process in healthy ways. But it’s also a grief that can be transformed into a powerful tool for healing and growth—once we allow ourselves the space to feel it fully and without shame.
This is my story. I sat with grief for over 30 years. Faced a succession of losses, including the loss of my dad and two of my older sisters to sickness, my nephew to murder, and my babies to stillbirth and miscarriage, just to name a few. In the writing of my first book, Can You Just Sit With Me: Healthy Grieving for the Losses of Life, I came to a stark realization that I was grieving over those losses yes but I was also grieving deeply over things that were specific to me being a Black Woman.
For Black women, grief is not just about personal loss. It’s also about the collective history of loss and trauma that has been passed down through generations. Slavery, racism, police brutality, and inequality are not just abstract issues—they are lived experiences. And while these injustices are often ignored or minimized in mainstream conversations, they remain ever-present in our lives. This intergenerational trauma shapes how we process grief, as well as how we find healing and how we live.
How to define Black Woman Grief?
The grief of Black women is, in many ways, a grief that is still unfolding. It’s a grief that includes the loss of life, culture, and dignity that has been taken from us, and a grief that isn’t always acknowledged in spaces that should provide support. When society doesn’t recognize this layered grief, Black women are left to navigate it alone.
Thus, I wrote Black Woman Grief as a space and place for Black Women to exhale, find safety and solidarity in sharing our collective and individual stories, feel seen, heard, and understood, and be affirmed that our God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, has not forgotten about us. Black Woman Grief explores personal narrative intertwined with Biblical truth for a compassionate guide to healing and wholeness for Black Woman.
Yes, Black Woman Grief is a real thing. If you need support for the heaviness you are feeling right now, know that you are not alone. Black Woman Grief is for you, dear Black Woman. It’s also for those who support, serve and love Black Woman, ministry leaders, and mental health practitioners.
Get your copy of Black Woman Grief here.
