We never expected our person to die. Never expected this loss to land in our lap. And we never expected to feel this weight of grief. This immersive experience of ups and downs, a roller coaster of emotion, a stabbing at our faith. No one warns you about it. Probably because it is unexplainable, a topic one does not openly want to discuss. We never expected to be here wading through the grief of unexpected loss, yet here we are.
You see, most often our expectations are flooded with good. We expect to be happy. We expect promotions, and our kids to behave, to be loved, cared for, seen, heard, and understood. But things don’t always go as expected. When it comes to death and dying we never expect it. Even when someone we love is diagnosed with a terminal illness or condition, we still don’t expect them to die.
When I learned of the terminal diagnosis for both my sisters Angie and Sharon and my dad, several years in between, each shocked me. Like how is this happening? I never expected them to die. For one, I prayed and believed for their healing. And two, even when I saw death in their eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Thus, I still didn’t expect it. Hence, the shock that comes along with the death of our people. Or the loss of something we love and cherish.
We never expect death (or loss for that matter), yet, the author of Hebrews wrote, “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27 NIV). The fact of the matter is, that we are all destined to die. Grave news, I know. So what do we do with this?
It boils down to how do we approach or deal with the reality of death?
Rob Moll wrote an exquisite book call The Art of Dying that is rich with how we have grown to view death and how it is such a foreign thing for us. Which explains why it’s hard to grasp death, loss, and grief when it hits us. Moll writes of on Christian gerontologist, “We’re so pro-life, we’re anti-death”. He goes on to say that “Life is equally sacred at its end as at its beginning”.
Death is real: there is no need to say that because our loved one is in heaven, death doesn’t exist. Death is a fact, and its sting is painful. So we mourn. But death has been defeated, and comforted by the Holy Spirit, we ask with the apostle Paul, “Death where is thy sting? O grave, where is they victory?” (1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV).
Rob Moll, The Art of Dying
So because there is death, there is mourning and there is grief. And what we can do is rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father God. For is is the God of all Comfort. He is close to our broken hearts and he is sitting with us in this grief.
So if you are sitting with unexpected losses as you read this, know that you are not alone. Know that our unexpected losses didn’t catch God by surprise. He knows and he understands. Unexpected losses can be incredibly difficult to bear, but finding comfort in the promises of God can bring solace in such times.
5 Verses of Comfort for Unexpected Loss
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
So, as we confront the inevitability of death and the pain of unexpected losses, we find peace and unending hope in God and his Word. Even in the darkest moments, God’s understanding surpasses our own, offering comfort to our broken hearts.
Sitting with you,
Natasha
Resources in this post.
