No one ever told me how much of an identity shift you experience and feel after the loss of a parent and after the loss of a sibling, a child, and so forth. No one ever told me that any loss whether the loss of a loved one or a living loss can affect us so deeply. In this post, we will explore how to navigate 4 things that no one tells you about grief.
With each loss, no matter the type of loss, it can feel as if a part of us is missing. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a dream, or something dear to us, we often find ourselves navigating uncharted territory. While many people share advice and comfort, some aspects of grief are less talked about—yet they are just as real. Here are four things no one told you about grief that might just change the way you approach your healing journey.
1. Grief Can Alter Your Identity
When we experience loss, it’s not just the person or thing we lose—it’s a part of ourselves. The version of you before the grief and the version after might look and feel very different. Maybe you were once carefree and confident, but now you’re cautious and more reflective. Grief has a way of reshaping our identity. It can make us question who we are, what we value, and how we see the world.
This shift isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In the midst of grief, you may discover new strengths, a deeper sense of purpose, or a different outlook on life. It’s okay to feel unfamiliar with yourself during this time—it’s part of the transformation that grief often brings.
2. Triggers Are Everywhere
You might think you’re “doing better” with your grief, and then, out of nowhere, something triggers an emotional response—a song on the radio, the smell of a familiar perfume, or a place you used to visit. These grief triggers can pop up when you least expect them, bringing a fresh wave of sadness, anger, or longing.
It’s important to give yourself grace when these triggers surface. They are a normal part of the grieving process, and while they can feel overwhelming, they also offer an opportunity to remember and honor what was lost. Be gentle with yourself as these emotions arise.
3. Physical Symptoms Are Common
Grief is not just emotional; it’s physical, too. You may feel exhausted even after a full night’s sleep, experience headaches, tension, or even digestive issues. The body carries grief in ways we might not expect. You could find yourself feeling heavy, sluggish, or like you’re fighting off an illness when, in reality, your body is responding to the deep emotional toll of loss.
Listen to your body and give it the care it needs. Rest, hydrate, and move in ways that feel nurturing, whether it’s through gentle stretching, walks, or simply taking time to be still. Physical symptoms are your body’s way of processing the weight of your emotions, so honor the need to slow down and care for yourself.
4. Joy and Sadness Can Coexist
One of the hardest lessons about grief is learning that joy and sadness can exist at the same time. You can be grieving a loss and still find moments of laughter or happiness. This doesn’t mean you’re “moving on” or forgetting your loss—it means that life continues, even in the midst of heartache.
Finding joy doesn’t invalidate your grief. Instead, it’s a sign of resilience and healing. Allow yourself to embrace both emotions without guilt. Grief is complex, and so are the feelings that come with it. It’s possible to hold sorrow in one hand and joy in the other.
Which of these resonates most?
Resources
Could you use support in your grief journey, I’m here to help. I offer personalized 1-on-1 grief support services designed to walk with you through your journey, providing tools and compassionate guidance along the way.
You can also check out my book, Can You Just Sit With Me, for deeper insights on grief and healing, or grab my Grief Support Worksheet Bundle to help you process your emotions at your own pace.
Ready to take the next step? Reach out to schedule a session, or explore the resources available to you. Let’s walk through this season of grief together. You don’t have to do it alone.
Schedule a free 1-on-1 grief consultation today.