The best way to grieve is to grieve. I learned this the ‘long’ way and I say long because it took me thirty-plus years to understand that we can’t just push or stuff grief away. It simply doesn’t work that way. As a bereaved mom, daughter, sibling, cousin, niece, and more I’ve learned a lot about grief. One thing I’ve learned is sometimes others would rather grievers silence their grief in order to make them feel comfortable. But grief must be witnessed. Thus, this article explores Mourning as Resistance: How to Turn Grief into a Pathway to Healing for Black Women.
Grief is often portrayed as a moment of vulnerability, a weakness, or something to be overcome. But what if grief, particularly Black Woman grief, is not just something we endure but a form of resistance? What if, in our mourning, we also found power, courage, and the strength to challenge culture and systems that try to dehumanize us? To grieve over any loss, suffering, or injustice is to be human.
One of the most tragic—and most important—examples of Black Woman grief as resistance is the story of Emmett Till. In my new book Black Woman Grief, I retell this story from 1955, of 14-year-old Emmett Till, a Black boy from Chicago, who was brutally killed in Mississippi. His body was disfigured beyond recognition, but his mother, Mamie Till-Mobley, made a courageous decision. She insisted on an open casket funeral, allowing the world to see the horrific reality of her son’s death. This act of public mourning did not just honor Emmett’s life; it sparked a global movement for civil rights and became a symbol of the power of Black grief to confront injustice.
Mamie’s choice was a radical act. It was resistance against the dehumanization of Black life. It was an act of reclaiming dignity, not just for her son, but for the entire Black community. In her grief, Mamie Till-Mobley demanded that the world face the brutal reality of racial violence and the devastating impact it had on Black families.
This moment in history exemplifies something that we must acknowledge today: Black Woman grief is not just something that happens in private. It is not something that should be minimized or hidden away. It is, in fact, a form of resistance—resisting the erasure of our pain and resisting the systems that continuously tell us our lives don’t matter.
In my new book Black Woman Grief, I explore the historical and personal impact of grief within the Black community, particularly for Black women. Grief is not just a private experience for us—it is deeply connected to the collective trauma we carry. Just as Mamie Till-Mobley’s grief became a catalyst for change, our grief can serve as a powerful force for transformation.
When we allow ourselves to mourn, and when we sit with our grief instead of rushing past it, we are acknowledging the pain that has been inflicted on us. We are refusing to remain silent in the face of loss. And we are challenging a system that expects us to move on without ever truly healing. Grief is not just a reaction to death or loss; it is a statement. It says that we are human, that we feel deeply, and that our emotions and experiences are worthy of attention.
Healing for Black Women
In Black Woman Grief, I reflect on the ways in which Black women’s grief has been suppressed, ignored, and minimized by society, yet how it also carries the potential for profound resistance. By confronting our grief, we reclaim our right to feel, to mourn, and to heal. And in doing so, we challenge a world that would prefer we stay silent or invisible.
If you’ve ever felt that your grief was too much or that you had to hide your pain in order to be strong, know that you are not alone. You are part of a long tradition of resistance through mourning, of Black women and men who have used their grief to bring about change. Your grief is valid, your sorrow is real, and it is powerful.
Preorder my new book Black Woman Grief to explore these stories further and learn how we, as Black women, can reclaim our grief as a source of strength and resistance. It’s time for us to grieve in a way that heals, that empowers, and that leads us to hope and wholeness.
Sitting with you,
Natasha
Praise for Black Woman Grief. Get the book here.
