Coping with Loss during the Holidays
Coping with Loss (image via). Losing a loved one during the Holidays is one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced, having loss two of my older sisters just before Thanksgiving on separate occasions. I also just attended the home going service for one of my Aunts this past weekend and my heart goes out to my Uncle whom shared her hand in marriage for 57 years and the children, my cousins especially.
Here are some of my thoughts on coping with loss that you can use for yourself or when supporting someone who has loss a loved one, especially around the Holidays.
1. Pray and continue to pray for yourself and for your family. So often we neglect this part because the loss may have been unexpected and we somehow question God for it. Despite how we feel, we must remember that God is a good God and he is NOT the reason that our loved one passed away. Prayers of comfort, peace and strength will help during this time and the understanding of what happened along with the comfort, peace and strength will come with time. To be honest, it’s one of the only things that kept me sane in dealing with the loss of my sisters.
2. Recognize that grieving is a Process. It’s okay to laugh, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be mad. Emotions are real and it is healthy to let them out and not to hold them in.
3. Surround yourself with those who genuinely love you and are supportive of you during this time. You’ll find that you have a lot of support when the loss first occurs but then time goes by and everyone has a life so that support tends to fizzle out. Take steps to reach out to those who know you best and ask them for their prayers and if you could just hang out or talk.
4. Remember that its okay to think about the loved one you’ve lost, it’s okay to talk about them. Yes, emotions will rise but it’s all part of the process. I remember for the longest time, my family wouldn’t mention my sister’s name really…for the shear fact that we would all burst into tears. Tears are okay! Remembering and talking about the person is a great memorial for them that will last forever!
5. Remember to think and focus on the good times you spent with them and leave any negative thoughts in the past! For me, it was so easy to think about the time leading up to the passing of my sister and dwell on it and it only made me So angry and made me think of the “what if’s” and “what else could have been done” and I felt depressed…not recommended! I’ve learned, that sort of thinking is toxic, so when negative thoughts try to rear their ugly head; I replace them with bible scripture then think of the good memories I have of her. It has definitely worked.
Yes I still cry and it’s been a few years now, mainly from just missing my sisters and that’s okay. The holidays bring up these emotions because it’s a time when you spend time with family and when those that we’ve lost are no longer there, it affects us. With these coping suggestions, I pray that the holidays will be a little brighter for those coping with a loss at this time.