How to Find Rest When You Are Exhausted by Grief

Grief is exhausting. It is an emotional journey that can leave us feeling utterly depleted, physically, mentally, and spiritually. In the midst of this overwhelming exhaustion, finding rest may seem like an insurmountable challenge. Beyond what we could have ever imagined. I describe grief as a whole other level of tiredness. It runs in the background as we move throughout our day, draining our energy. In this article, you’ll find ways to find rest when exhausted by grief.

5 Ways to Rest When You Are Exhausted by Grief

1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

Let me start by saying, resting is not being lazy. Lack of sleep is the first thing we think of when we feel tired. It’s true in grief we may find it hard to sleep. I remember I couldn’t sleep after different losses. I had bouts of insomnia after my Dad died, after my sisters Sharon and Angie died, after my nephew was murdered, and when I delivered my still born baby. Death, loss, and grief has this affect on us. Yet, sleep isn’t all there is to resting. It could look like saying “no” to things that drain you even further. Delegating tasks to others and setting boundaries.

2. Limit Screen Time

Have you heard the saying, what you put in, you put out? Well how about what you put in, could be adding to what’s draining your energy. Because of media be it the news and/or social media, we now have access to all the things (good and mostly bad) happening all over the world. And it can all be too much for the senses. I believe this keeps us in this state of alert, being on guard, anxious and flat out tense. As a result, we feel drained and exhausted. Again, I’ve found guarding my heart and mind in Christ Jesus has been so helpful, limited my screen time.

3. Get the Grief Out

Grief. It’s ruminating/running in the background and needs to be released. Honestly, I don’t like this part but it never ceases to amaze me how it works. When I do “grief work” I feel so much better afterward. It’s that initial pulling the bandage off the wound that hurts. But after it’s off, we’re able to tend to it and it feels better. Reading through the book of Lamentations, it gives language to getting the grief out. Just when it sounds like the writer (most likely Jeremiah) is going off the deep in of complaints about how the grief is all too much, he interjects with this:

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:21-23 NIV).

It’s a reminder that grief is hard and God is with us.

4. Engage with a Hobby

I started back crocheting after 20-plus years. Having recently seen my daughter who I taught create a sweater, it inspired me to pick up my yarn and needle. My dad taught me and my sisters how to crochet and I’ve been trying to teach our kids. Maybe subconsciously I didn’t want to see a yarn and needle because it was the last thing I tried to get dad to do to pass the time in the weeks leading up to his death. Nevertheless, I picked it back up and it has been amazing how much solace I’ve found in it. I don’t know if it’s because of the mindlessness of it or the creative aspect, I find it quite relaxing. A hobby in essence can help as a creative outlet, a distraction from the grief, connection, or therapeutic outlet.

5. Rest in Biblical Truth

So much of grief is the mental anguish of remembering the where, what, who and how surrounding the death of your person or the details of your loss. Due to this, I believe there is a huge need for us to do what the Bible says in renewing our minds with the Word of God.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2 NIV ).

Also, read grief resources that are rich in Biblical Truth such as my book Can You Just Sit With Me: Healthy Grieving for the Losses of Life.

Remember as we journey through the depths of being exhausted by grief, finding rest is not a luxury but a necessity for our well-being. In the moments when exhaustion threatens to overwhelm us, may we be gentle with ourselves, extending compassion and grace along the journey.

Sitting with you,
Natasha

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